Today our precious Maya turns eight. This birthday is, without a doubt, extra sweet for us. After experiencing 6 weeks of nausea, Maya became acutely ill two weeks ago and landed up in hospital. An emergency visit first, followed by a second (and more scary) emergency visit and a subsequent admission to the pediatrics unit. After a barrage of tests and consults, it was determined that she was experiencing dehydration from an acute GI virus, but the underlying issue remained a bit of a mystery. They were able to rule out a lot of the more serious possibilities and we stand hopeful that she will be completely fine.
Those are the facts...the story of my heart and those days and hours with Maya are a completely different story. As I was pulling into the emergency room the second time, Maya was very ill. She was so pale...falling asleep if she wasn't vomiting..she literally couldn't speak. They rushed her right in and started treating her, but my heart was stuck on the lyrics to a song I had just heard. Literally, as I rounded the corner to the hospital, these were the lyrics playing on the radio:
And when a sickness takes my child away, and there’s nothing I can do
My only hope is to trust You, I trust you Lord
Every ounce of me just screamed "no." Absolutely not. This was not OK. My response scared me as much a Maya's illness. I am a Pastor's wife, a worship leader...I've loved Jesus all my life, but in that moment, the last thing I could imagine doing was trusting someone who would let my child be taken away. That strong woman that I picture myself to be these days...she crumbled. Thankfully, I am not the author of my faith. I am not the author of Maya's story or my own. When I am weak, He is strong. When I can't believe..he still IS.
We saw so much blessing through that week...we saw the immense love and care of our family and friends.When we were on the floor, our people lifted us. We were prayed for, fed, gifted, called, texted. We were so LOVED. The day Maya went to the hospital, my parents arrived home from Hawaii. My mom moved in (and my dad let her). We couldn't have done it without her. The most beautiful thing though was watching Maya heal and seeing her response to this tidal wave of care for HER. Maya really is a classic middle child. She longs to be seen and noticed...often shadowed by her pre-teen older sister, and her insanely dramatic younger sister. The days in the hospital with her were hard, but they were also so tender and special. We had so much uninterrupted time...just me and her...that would really never happen otherwise. We snuggled, talked, watched movies, giggled...she received gifts, balloons, visits and messages...and she just BLOOMED under all the attention. Spring came early for my girl.
Maya - we are freshly reminded what a gift you are to us. You are a difference maker in our family...you are so special, and important and so very treasured. And though the only place I ever want you is within my reach, I am reminded also that you are in the best of Hands. I absolutely love that I get to be your mom. Happy Birthday my sweet girl.